Gun
check
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This is a fun one I got in Moscow. I'm not sure exactly
which time or which trip this was but in any case for some reason the
only place that was open late enough to serve us food after the shows
was one of the dodgy casinos.
We had just come from Prague a day or two earlier where I had found a
curious little shop whose sign promised, among other things: drink, film,
water, amulets, weapons and funny hats. Inside (because it's such a relief
to find that the weapons-seeking funny hat and amulet wearing public was
having it's needs catered to) I found what looked to be the WORST imitation
Swiss Army knife ever and it was only a dollar. So I bought it. The main
blade was dull enough to use as a butter knife and the corkscrew (let's
face it, the MAIN reason for having a Swiss Army knife anyway) broke the
first time I used it. Suffice to say that what seemed to be the best imitation
Swiss Army knife to be had for a dollar in Prague lived up to my expectations.
And then we were in Moscow going into this skanky place full of implausible
looking hookers and gangsters who looked so ridiculous that they HAD to
be genuinely dangerous. It being a casino, it had a (seemingly mandatory)
coat check and it being further a casino full of gangsters it had a walk-through
metal detector and hand bag check. In searching my bag as I went through
the metal detector they found my one dollar knife and looked displeased
though the thing was too useless to impale even a stuffed rabbit. And
they made me go to a little window next to the seemingly mandatory coat
check where there was the totally mandatory weapons check where they took
my little one dollar knife and gave me this claim check. Having had about
as much fun with a one dollar knife as one can and finding a laminated
Russian ticket for a weapons-check window much more amusing, I never went
back for the knife.
